Monday, May 13, 2013

A mellow day

After a couple of choppy days, I had a really quiet day.  I was in the groove with my routine.  The chores seemed pleasurable rather than inconvenient. I milked the goats morning and evening.  I went to town for an NA meeting.  Ran a couple of errands.  Came home and hung out with the family.  Worked on a couple of cheeses that I am aging.  Made my stepson dinner.  Played a little rock-and-roll while doing the dishes.  Took a little cat nap...with the cat.  Took my medications at their prescribed times.  I didn't feel bored.  Nor did I feel fired up and excitable.

Days like this are a blessing.  Only problem is that for someone with bipolar disorder, or at least for me, days like this feel strange.  They don't always feel right.  I wonder if I'm losing my edge.  I wonder if I'm overmedicated.  You know, maybe I should do something to stir things up.  Ask the doctor to lower a medication.  Leave town.  Abuse caffeine.  Maybe even take a drink...  I hear from others that this discomfort with the feeling of balance and normalcy is common.

The more quiet days that I experience, the more days of recovery I amass, the easier it gets to accept the blessing of balance.  The less boring normalcy seems.  The less attractive chaos appears. 

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