Well, the favorite of bipolar folks everywhere. Time to make a change in medication. This has been happening far too often this year. Anyway, I'm coming off of Abilify, an expensive atypical antipsychotic, and either cutting it out completely or switching to a cheaper drug from the same family. I don't seem to be experiencing much difficulty except maybe a little change in the racing thoughts department. It is hard to tell though as I am traveling and going to family holiday parties. Traveling and holiday parties can cause racing thoughts for me all by themselves.
One problem with living with medication is that they can lose effectiveness over time. Something that worked great in the beginning, can stop working after a while. Or side effects can become problematic.
Racing thoughts are not my friend. They rarely race in a positive direction. Usually they go something like this. "I'm not good enough, I'll never succeed, I'll always feel THIS way, nothing will ever change." Of course, I am good enough, I frequently succeed, feeling come and go, and things are always changing.
How do I counteract these negative, racing thoughts? Prayer, meetings, meditation, and serving others. Getting active doing something positive. I prayed a lot last night. I was staying with some relatives. My wife was asleep in our bedroom. My sister-in-law was asleep in the living room. And I had insomnia. Nowhere to hang out and nothing to do. So, I lay in the dark praying and trying to sleep. Tonight is slightly better. I'm having insomnia in the hotel lobby while everybody sleeps.
We have a long drive tomorrow going home. It'll be good to be home. Now I just need to get some sleep so I can help with the driving.
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